Message in the Mess Monday..........Being gentle with myself
Hello Lovelies, how are YOU doing this Monday morning?
Me? Well. We can be honest with each other here, right?
I am struggling.
I hesitate to write that because I want to be uplifting and not " Debbie Downer", but then I realize that there are some of you struggling too.
I just finished a wonderful weekend that was full to the brim of good things. But then the enemy of my joy crept in this morning and reminded me of all the things I didn't get done and all the things waiting for me at work this week. I stood at the coffee pot, with tears running down my freshly made up face, and told the Bearded Man that I was miserable.
It felt wrong to even say that after the joy, love, and community that I experienced over the weekend. But the misery was there waiting for me in the form of Monday.
Have you experienced this? My friend, Brene Brown, (she doesn't know we are friends yet) calls this "foreboding joy". I can't seem to let the good penetrate because I am afraid of the pain waiting on the other side of it.
The seeds of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, control of myself/boundaries are so easily snatched away by the goblins of TO DO lists, shoulds, oughts, you're not enoughs, exhaustion, and stress.
And then I beat myself up for letting that happen AGAIN.
Ok. Now what??
Well, I wiped my tears, rehashed a couple of the great things that happened this weekend, and looked in my head to the new things of joy waiting for me this week.
I drove to work meditating on words of songs that filled my car (with the new auxiliary cord that I found at Marshall's for $5.99...that's a joy inducing bargain!) and I prayed for the week and for those I will spend it with. Then I sent text messages to several of the people I prayed for to tell them that I love them. And then I breathed. And I breathed again.
Beautiful girls, what can you do to be gentle with yourself today? Can you let the dishes go for a bit so you can call a friend? Can you sneak outside on your lunch break to take in the fall air? Can you let yourself sit in quiet for a few minutes before bed tonight?
Whatever it is for you, do it. Breathe. Remember. Be gentle with yourself.
And then we wake up tomorrow and be gentle again.
You are loved and prayed for my dear ones.
peace, love, and gentleness,