message in the mess monday

I am never going to be put together.

There. I said it. 

That was kind of liberating.

I am never going to have the magazine house. I am never going to have the hair that lays where it is supposed to. I am ALWAYS going to be clumsy, goofy, hungry, a little sad, excessively chatty, scatter brained, salty with my mouth,and well, a mess.

I used to feel like that made me broken, but now I realize that makes me. I am a collection of my quirks. I am a collection of my fears and my flaws. And that is ok.

Over the last few months, when I have been open and transparent about my mess, my fears, my "crazy", do you want to know what has happened? I have found out that other people feel the same. I'm not the only one! Other people are made up of a mess of their own. Most people I talk to have similar thoughts running through their heads.

Someone said to me the other day "I can't talk to you about this because you just have it all together." I almost fell on the floor laughing. I said "I knew I was an actress, but I had no idea I was that good!" 

Why do we do this?? Why do we pretend?? 

Here's what I think. Ready? Let's QUIT PRETENDING with each other. Ladies, you know I'm talking to you. Let's quit judging ourselves against someone else's "having it together". No one has it together.

Say it with me. No one. Has it. Together.

So my hair doesn't lay right. That's boring anyway. I will let it do what it wants. (I promise it WANTS to be pink)

So my house is perpetually cluttered. It's ok. My kids are happy and healthy and they live in a house of love, not a showroom.

So I'm scatter brained. I got myself a planner, a Google calendar, and I am honest with people and ask for accountability.It gives my organized friends a chance to love me well.

There is something beautiful about each of our messes. I am working on finding mine....what about you?

peace, love, and messy hair,


  1. This gave me the chills, Chris...not only because you write like poetry, but because it resonated deeply. Yes, we all are messy...even the most seemingly put together people. It's part of being human, and I think when we embrace the mess, we can see the beauty in it. It's all about perspective. Saying it with you now, "No one. Has it. Together." And if you want to come over and look at my bedroom closet, you'll smile and nod at the fact that I can be co-President of the Messy Club with you, Chris.

    Peace, love, and messy-hair-don't-care back atcha, Lauren

    1. Lauren, I believe that the Lord may have brought us together for a reason ;) I am happy to know that The Thinking Closet can get messy sometimes too! Here's too messy hair, messy closets, and being happy in not having it all together....together!!! love ya!

  2. great post! i definitely feel like a mess sometimes- when i'm anxious and sad. and it feels so isolating! you are right, if we embrace the mess and talk about it more with each other we won't feel so alone, so scared, so scattered! thanks for sharing xx -katie

    1. Thanks Katie! I so agree...the more we talk about it, the more we are able to see our similarities. Also, where we can help each other! Sharing our messes in community is the best :)

  3. Oh Chrissy thank you for having the courage and the confidence to speak the words so many of us keep locked up inside our messy, muddled mixed up selves. I too am feeling the urge to come out of my cluttered closet, stop the pretense.. it's soooo tiring this need to appear perfect. Your honesty is so refreshing. Thank you xx

    1. I'm so glad to know that more of us are feeling this's so refreshing to be real with each other right?? :) Thank you for reading and for being real with me too!

  4. OMG this is SOOOOOO ME. My living room is a mess of kids' toys. I hate making the bed. Sometimes I have a tidy kitchen, sometimes I don't feel like loading the dishwasher. I find it hard to talk to people I've never met. I am afraid I'm too quiet, but then other times I feel embarrassed because I'm too loud. I've always felt that those things make me somehow 'less'. That there is this 'perfect me' that I should be striving to be. But I've also recently come to realise that I'm already my perfect imperfect me! Definitely learning to love the me I am. Thanks for writing this post. Love it!

    1. You sound absolutely PERFECT!!! I struggle with very similar things and the thing that I have realized lately is that most of us are so worried about our own mess that we aren't really even looking at other's peoples' messes the way they think we are or assume they are looking at ours. (That was a ramble that I hope made sense lol) I think we need to spend more time trying to love ourselves and each other and chuck all the mess :)


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