I celebrate the entire month of my birth. Doesn't everyone??

I was born. 

And it seems that there were quite a few people who were happy about it. At least according to some grainy photos of people in bell bottoms and strange hair who are holding a tiny version of me and smiling.

Then every year after that, those people made a party to commemorate me being born. I liked that. There were presents and treats and laughing. All because I existed.

Sounds wonderful right!? 

Did you love birthdays as a kid? I think most people did.

Mine fell at the most glorious time of the year....the end of the school year! So for me, the month of June has been the finishing of something old and the beginning of something new and amazing.

For me, my birthday became my "new year."

I know that some people get super hyped about January and the changeover of the year, but for me it happens at my birthday. As I move into a new year of life, there seems to be some magic and mystery waiting for what it will be like to be the next year older.

Then I got into my late 30's and that all sounded like a load of crap.

Seriously, who wants another birthday? Sure, i know my coworkers would decorate my cube and I'd get a dinner out and some gifts, but when you're looking down the barrel of 30+ pushing into 40, that doesn't seem to matter. 

Let's just skip the whole thing, ok??

Except then my friend, Michael, introduced me to a new way of thinking.

(I have written about it before here Why I celebrate Birth Month circa 2013)

Why not go back to thinking about this as a magical transition to a new year and new possibilities? Why not use everyday of this beautiful little month to celebrate all the gifts that I have already been given in life? Why not use this month to refocus and renew my vision for my life?

So for quite a few years, I celebrated BIRTHMONTH with daily posts and updates and quite a few people seemed happy about it and even tried it for themselves. It was fun and exciting!

Then life got hard. Really hard. Like smack you in the face with a big, dirty diaper hard. And I turned 40. And I wanted to give up life completely. There were days I could barely get myself out of bed and dressed. I was not in a place to celebrate birthmonth or any sort of anything.

I was just surviving. Barely.

I won't go into all the sad details of my life, but I will tell you that time heals. There are still wounds and hurts. And there are days that I can hardly put one foot in front of the other. But in the midst of all of the chaos and grief and wondering WHY I even exist, there has been beauty and joy and hope.

So as I watched the calendar creeping towards June, I felt a bit of dread. Do I have it in me to celebrate life? Life that can be cruel and awful and terrible and heartbreaking? Life that can also be joyful and full of color and laughter and light?

I don't know if I do, but I want to try. 

So tomorrow marks the beginning of Birthmonth 2017. I want to make it a good one. I want to make the most of all the seconds, minutes, hours, days....you get it.

I bet you're asking yourself how this works at this point. Do I demand gifts and parties and acknowledgement? Well.......no. I won't demand them. :) I will always accept them, but I don't expect them.

See this is about me celebrating....me. That I exist and that I continue to exist. I will do my best to each day try to connect with someone from my past or someone new. 

Or I may try a new art class.

Or I may stay in bed and read trashy novels.

Or I may buy a homeless man dinner.

Or I may put on  my sneakers and go for a run.

Whatever I can do to celebrate living. I will do my best to keep y'all updated on my progress. I hope you will enjoy the journey with me.

What about you? Do you need to learn to celebrate again? Let me know how you're doing with that. I'd love to hear from you!

peace, love, and celebrating,

chrissy