Becoming Mommy...

As I sit here in my living room, it is very quiet and still. The only thing I can hear is the faint sounds of a video game I will never understand coming from the back room. In that room is the reason that I am called Mommy. [Or Chriswald, but that's a story for another day :) ] There is a 14 year old man child in there that I gave birth to on this day in 1998. 

Rewind some to January 1998. I was 21 years old, a senior in college, working almost full time at a local bank, and had been married for a year and a half. I was mere months away from graduating at the top of my class with my Accounting degree and was making plans for taking the CPA and looking at graduate schools and possibly law school. One day I felt like I was getting the flu, but I did a little math in my head  and took a test. Two pink lines later, I was sitting on the bathroom floor of our little apartment in shock. I had definitely not planned for this.

For about a week, I didn't sleep. I would lay staring at the ceiling trying to sort out what this all meant. I continued pulling all nighters to finish my school work, drank copious amounts of coffee, and tried to ignore the fact that I was growing a human. I finally had the nerve to make that first OB appointment and was half hoping they would tell me the test was wrong. But instead they confirmed that I was definitely preggers. They then came in with a basket FULL of vials to take my blood. I went into full blown panic [I HATE needles and blood draws!!!], got my stuff to leave, and politely said "No, thank you" to their blood drawing. Well, I'm sure you know how that turned out. I ended up pinned to a chair having half my blood supply drained into vials. [I made sure to tell them I didn't think that was good for the baby at all!!!] 

As the months moved on, I started coming to terms with the fact that my life was changing, but I don't think I really grasped the extent of it. In May 1998, we found out that the baby was a boy. There was no doubt that his name would be Wesley. This was my great grandfather's first name and my grandfather's middle name. [also the name of my favorite character from the Princess Bride, but no one needs to know that ;)] That same month I graduated Summa Cum Laude in Accounting, but by now my CPA and grad school dreams were growing smaller but I was caring less and less about them.

Fast forward to September 10, 1998. I went to a routine OB appointment. My due date had been pushed out to Sept. 27th when I had my ultrasound, so I thought I had plenty of time. Um, I was wrong. My OB told be with great joy that I was completely effaced [I had nooooo idea what that meant] and 1cm dilated. [yep, no clue] She said that meant my baby was coming before the weekend was over, but probably sooner. I left her office in complete denial. I went back to work and spoke of this to no one. I was uncomfortable and exhausted, but I told myself if I could get through the next day of work, I had the whole weekend to rest. Um, wrong again.

At 5am, September 11, 1998, I woke up to use the bathroom and my water broke. I felt like a bad puppy having an accident. I didn't know what was happening, but I knew it meant I had to go to the hospital. I was TERRIFIED!!! On the drive there, I asked Mr Thrifty what day it was. He said Friday. I said "no stupid, the date". We finally decided it was the 11th and I was so relieved that no one I knew had a birthday that day. He would have his own day. I didn't know that 3 years later, the world would change forever on this day.

Just a few hours and many disgusting and horrifying events that I won't share here later, a tiny, scrawny baby came screaming and peeing into this world. [yep, that's right. His first act in this world was to pee all over the doctors and nurses.] He was only 6lbs 2oz. They couldn't really determine his length because he wouldn't stay still. They settled on 20 inches. His foot print sheet is actual a foot smear because he kept kicking the paper. He refused to sleep and he made angry, old man faces at everyone. He wouldn't keep his feet covered. He hated wearing a hat. He had auburn hair [a ginger at birth just like his mama] and huge blue eyes. He was perfect. And I have never been as happy as I was at that moment.

Fast forward 14 years. Now I have an almost man living in my house. He wears a size 10 shoe and wears a men's medium/large shirt because of his broad shoulders. He despises bullys and stands up for the underdogs. He texts with girls. He draws better than just about anyone I have ever seen. He plays the guitar. He reads on a level that surpassed me years ago. He can speak Turkish.[don't ask] He plays video games that adult men struggle with. He mows the grass. He loves playing with kids and he takes good care of his Mama.

He is everything I didn't know that I wanted. And I couldn't be happier than I am today that he is my boy. I know that it will be no time at all until he is moving on and finding dreams of his own. But to me he will always be the tiny little ginger who made me a mommy and who taught me what unconditional love was all about. Happy birthday Wesley Taylor!!!

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